Never Too Late
by Head.Tripped.x
Summary: Edward Cullen; A respected teacher at Forks High School. With no idea of the future to come, he learns that it's never too late to find love, even in his own classroom.
1. Chapter 1 : Prologue

_"This world will never be what I expected.  
And if I don't belong, who would have guessed it.  
I will not leave alone everything that I own.  
To make you feel like it's not too late.  
It's never too late..."_

**- Never Too Late - Three Day's Grace**

* * *

The bell rang, signaling the first class of a completely new year. My senior class which I have been teaching since they were freshmen left, leaving me a new set of seniors. I had been an English teacher for ninth grade, and gradually as the years came by taught the rest of the grades. It happened that I had most of the same kids for four years straight, and I missed them, sort of. I sighed when the thoughts of my co-workers were unwelcome again.

'Mmmhmmm so yummy! I could just take a bite-' The secretary, Gwen Powell.

'Not a wrinkle! Same face plastered for seven years! Freak' Living Environment teacher, Robert Sane.

The usual going around, females of all ages swooning over my looks once again. Some of my students were already imagining giving me an apple and providing 'extra credit'. I shuttered. Disturbing really, these children were completely graphic. Jessica Stanley was playing with her pencil, putting it in her shirt to derive my attention. Ew. Some other students filed in, wondering where the teacher was. Must have not gotten the memo. Their teacher was a one hundred twenty year old freak.

"Alright class, I'm glad you all found your seats with friends. It won't last for long so enjoy it. This is your senior year, so I won't lecture you of the rules because you've already heard them. This year we will-" I began to tell the students the same old thing, my mind wondering to when Alice and I will go hunting. Surprisingly, the entire class had eyes on me. A first. The Stanley girl raised her hand, trying to look what she thought was sexy. It took all that I could not to laugh. Poor girl.

"Yes, Jessica?" I said politely, she melted at the fact I knew her name without a list.

"Will we be reading 'Both Side's Of Time' this year?" her question took me off guard.

"I wasn't planning on it, why?" I was curious, her mind not giving me the answers needed.

"Ms Wooden promised us last year that we would be, and I've been wanting to read it ever since" Ah, interesting. This teacher was a hopeless romantic, no wonder she promised her students such a tale. I knew the story briefly, and thought about it. We didn't have much to read for this level, so why not?

"Perhaps that is a good idea, I know you all just LOVE a romance novel, am I right?" I smirked in sarcasm. The boys groaned while the girls gushed by the sound of romance on my lips. I laughed.


	2. Chapter 2 : Animal I've Become

_"So what if you can see the darkest side of me?_

_No one will ever change this animal I have become.  
Help me believe it's not the real me, _

_Somebody help me tame this animal"_

**- Animal I have Become - Three Days Grace**

* * *

After five more classes that just blended within each other, I grabbed the folder I brought with me everyday and rushed to my silver Volvo. Teachers and students stared in envy, and I smiled as I sped through the parking lot to my house. Alice and Jasper were already waiting outside as I arrived. They posed as students; I couldn't stand the redundant days though. When I walked out of my car Alice was smiling, singing songs in her head. Normally I wouldn't suspect much, but she was trying overly hard not to slip. I raised an eyebrow and she shrugged and suggested we leave. Alice and Jasper held hands as they rushed through the forest, while I left them to themselves. I wanted someone to hold my hand as we ran, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. We caught the scent as we came face to face with a herd of deer. We attacked like the monsters we were, and as I drank the blood of the female I heard soft mewling. My head turned as the child of the animal I killed stared at me with large doe eyes. It pushed its head fearlessly against my leg while I crotched over. It was trembling but it was its attempt to ram me for hurting his mother. When it felt cold steel it stared up again, pain in its large brown eyes. My cold heart melted. I killed the only thing this fawn's life. I slowly stood up, and the little mammal rushed to its mother side as it continued to whimper and rub itself against her side. My cold hand ran softly on its face, and it continued to look at me. Its blood did not taunt me, and all I wanted was to care for this creature. So defenseless, so vulnerable. I left quickly while Alice and Jasper stared at my form running away. They had no idea, but I knew I wouldn't go hunting for a long as I could withstand. Extremely dangerous, and extremely irresponsible. I didn't care as I arrived at the house; Esme looked at me with soft eyes as I stopped in front of her.

"What plagues you son?" Carsile stepped next to her, his hand reaching her shoulder.

"I don't want to be a monster" my mother walked towards me, pulling me in a hug that only mothers could give. Love.

"I'm sorry you feel this way Edward." She spoke softly into the crook of my neck. We talked for a little longer until I went to my room and blasted various music. It was an hour later when Jasper and Alice came home, and sudden jealously fired within my veins. I knew exactly what happened; Jasper had a retarded grin on his face even in his mind. I slowly got into Alice's head, she was finally unblocked. The sights I saw were nothing I expected. I was on top of a gorgeous girl, fangs exposed as she stared up at me with the most amazing eyes. They were just the same as the fawn in the forest, large, brown, and filled with wonder. My hands were on her hip, as we kissed passionately. Alice finally came out of her vision with an 'Awe crap!' before she blocked herself completely. I rushed down the stairs, my feet stomping almost hard enough to break the wood underneath.

"Alice, what was THAT?" I screamed, while the rest of the family stared in confusion.

"What was what?" she was mocking me, a thin smile on her small face. I growled, walking closer.

"You know what, now you're going to tell me about what you just saw. It's more than obvious that you were hiding it, now tell me!" My voice was booming and my hands were shaking fiercely. Without a word she unblocked her mind, the full visions slipping into my head. I was talking to a human girl, the same as in the other sight. We were together, and she wasn't afraid. There must have been a mistake with Alice's visions, no way in hell any of this could happen. The visions continued to progress, leading to me attacking her, what?! She lay there, lifeless. Then it shifted back in time, right before I attacked her. This time I ran and jumped on her, but her golden eyes just laughed as we wrestled.

"NO!" I screamed louder than any time before, my family growing more worried as the seconds passed.

"Alice, this is NOT going to happen. So wipe that dumb smile off your face."

"She's going to be my best friend!" She nearly sung as she began to waltz with Jasper laughing. She continued to swing him along, almost taking the lead. Her mind was free now; visions of her and the girl hanging out filled her mind. She was ecstatic.

"Where do I meet her?" The words from my mouth came without warning, and Alice's smile just became brighter.

"I know your happy so stop acting miserable. You know you want this just as bad as I do, and it's concrete! Well, besides the last part…" She laughed and spun around, her short black hair flying around the place.

"No, that's where you're wrong." I clenched my teeth "Nothing you see is, it's based on decision, not fate. And it's not going to happen." I wasn't going to kill some girl, I couldn't! I promised I would never take someone's mortality, nor attack another human. Especially not an innocent seventeen year old girl, it was simply wrong to do so.

"Honestly, I don't know where you will meet her, but that is at least inevitable. You will meet; the only thing that is undecided is her future with you." She smiled again as visions of her and the girl shopping filled her mind. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed, how could anything like this happen?


	3. Chapter 3 : There's A Class For This

_"We keep ourselves a mystery. But we provide, provide the clues.  
And so the rest is up to you. And don't forget to check the obvious  
We are so serious, so I guess it all comes down to how curious you can be"_

**- There's A Class For This - Cute Is What We Aim For**

* * *

Six months have passed since Alice's visions, we didn't even know if it was going to be years from now. Who knew if this girl was an infant right now? I packed my folder as school returned from spring break. I walked into my first period class as we just finished 'One Flew over the Coo Coos Nest' and began to tell them about the essay they will be writing. I stopped mid-lecture, a radiant scent taking over my mind. Oh no.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan. I just got enrolled…" the young girl of my would-be dreams (if I could) walked into the room with a pass crumbled in her tiny hands. She was even more beautiful in person, and I couldn't breathe. I gripped the pass quickly, too quickly, and she near gasped at the hostility of my action.

"Sit down next to Stanley." I almost clenched through my teeth as the girl ran over to Jessica's raised hand with disgusting thoughts filled her head. I looked at the clock with wide eyes, as ten minutes were left in the class.

"Do whatever you want, you've got the last ten minutes." I refused to turn to the girl, as I began to think of ways to keep her in class. Just a moment would be all I need…

'Isabella, can you stay after class for a little while? I need to catch you up with the rest of your classmates' then snap her tiny little neck with one hand and take her back to my house. Sure Carsile would be mad, Alice would be furious, but we have moved before haven't we? We all mess up, don't we? Her voice rung in my ears as she called my name. 'Mr. Cullen, Mr. Cullen?'

"Yes?" I responded quite irritated that this girl interrupted my thoughts of taking her life.

"What do I need to do in order to be where the rest of the class here? I've already read the book…" she was nervous, and Jessica Stanley took it upon herself to talk to the new girl, with all bad intentions in mind. She was thinking of starting a rumor that this girl was a drug addict from Arizona who got sent away.

"You don't have to do anything as of now; the essay doesn't apply to you." I spoke quickly, as the monster inside my head hissed. NO! Keep her back!

"You don't have to treat me special because I am new here, I am perfectly content with doing what the class is-" I cut her off with my eyes wondering to her face for the first time.

"No, you do not have to do this as of now. If you feel that bad about it, you can read the book 'Both Side's of Time' by Caroline B. Cooney. We covered it earlier in the year, and if you have any questions on it you can come ask me about it anytime." YES! She can come back, and I can savor each moment. No one will know that Bella Swan didn't go straight home from school in her first week in Forks. There would be no evidence, no mess to clean up. A simple animal attack in the woods would work… What was I thinking? I couldn't do that, especially not with the images of her and me together.

"Alright, I'll pick it up at the library later today" she smiled, a blush forming on her cheeks when she looked at me. This is when I finally realized her thoughts just weren't there. I had focused on her death that I couldn't see the present, which held an incredibly odd mystery. Her thoughts were foreign to my brain, and I tried and tried again to concentrate on them. Jessica's was loud and booming to my displeasure, as she stared at the new girl with an unspoken jealousy. The bell finally rang and I rushed out of the classroom even faster than my students as I asked for the day off, writing it off with a family emergency. They let me do this only because I very rarely took off, only if it was extremely important. I rushed to my car as I hit 80 before leaving the parking lot of the school. When I arrived home Alice was already waiting with the others as she beamed. I ran up to her and spoke in a quiet whisper. "You knew" I was embarrassed for her to know the effect this student had over me. Why did she have to know?

"Well, I left early when I started to see the bad vision, but suddenly it all changed and others confirmed your decision." Jasper suddenly shot his head towards me as he stared at me with wonder.

"How can you even be standing now Edward?" I looked at him quizzically, as his face showed mental anguish.

"Your feelings! You feel scared, caring, guilty, loving, sad, ecstatic, and all of the above! I-I need to sit down." He announced, as the rest of my family stared at me. We all knew vampires never needed to rest, yet with him just feeling my emotions he can no longer stand on his own two feet. Rose looked at me with murderous eyes before she slammed her door upstairs in a matter of seconds. Her thoughts concluding to 'Dimwit, idiot, loving a human, me, me, me, me, I look good…' changing once she saw her reflection in a mirror. Emmett looked at me with apologetic eyes before rushing to his soul mate. I sighed, what was I doing to this family?


	4. Chapter 4 : Thank You For The Venom

_"Preach all you want, but who's gonna save me? I keep a gun on the book you gave me,  
Hallelujah, lock and load. Black is the kiss, the touch of the serpent son,  
It ain't the mark or the scar that makes you one"_

**- Thank You For The Venom - My Chemical Romance**

* * *

I called the school sick that day, and the day after that. It was the weekend and I was preparing myself for sickening scent of the next week. Me and Emmett took a trip to Canada quickly and hunted, much more than we needed. How else could I control myself? 'Quit!' 'Stay'. The two sides of my mind were at constant war, screaming for the other to simply listen. I was trapped in a world of Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll, but much more dangerous.

"Eddiee! Come on, I just saw a bear! Massive I tell ya, let's go." Emmett yelled in pure excitement, waiting to wrestle and secretly avenge his young death.

"As long if you never call me that again" I threatened with a chuckle before following him to the scent of his hunt. He tackled the huge creature and the fight began. Emmett always enjoyed playing with his food, and I laughed as the bear stumbled back. Emmett was grinning and he swiftly kissed his upper arm in attempt to lighten the mood. The bear attacked again and he was ready. He threw him off before deciding to end the beast's misery. After his meal we decided to go home, his thoughts were just what he planned to do with his wife once he arrived. Serial times I had to tell him to stop, because the mental images certainly weren't helping me think. We talked some, and for the first time he brought up the reason I was going mad. Bella.

"So what's with this human?" he was casual, not very serious but not joking.

"What human?" I played dumb. Why should I tell him? 'He's your family..'

"The one that's driving you crazy" he winked while we continued to run in sync.

"What of it?" I sighed; he was the one driving me crazy at this point.

"Why you think she's having such an affect on you."

"I don't want to talk of this now" I nearly growled and he knew it was his cue to stop the interrogation. We arrived at the house an hour later and Alice was waiting outside. Her smirk told me more than her mind and I knew her plans. She wanted to befriend this girl, by transferring into Forks High School.

"No." is all I said but her future was locked. She had already filled the papers while I was too far away to figure out.

"Ah, on contrary brother. Yes" she held her smile as I continued to glare. Why must she do this to me? I continued to think, she had made sure she was in almost all of this girl's classes besides the one she shared with me. She couldn't be taught by her older brother, suspicion would rise once her grades appeared. I knew I had already lost the fight; there was no hope for me now. Alice was too sure of herself at times, and she had no idea what my student's silent mind brought me.

"Alice," I begged "Please don't" It's a horrible feeling to be hopeless and have no options. I had no clue what to do at this moment, and all I could think about was seeing her. It was one in the morning and she had to be asleep. I started running to her house, who wouldn't know where the Chief of Police lived in this tiny town? I was hidden in the trees that were so far from her window but I could see her small body tossing and turning in her bed. I needed to be closer. I snuck in her room without a sound as I watched her sleep for an hour or so. She suddenly woke up and I froze. The shadows covered me while I waited breathlessly in the corner of the small space. She stared at me with curious eyes. Oh no. She knew! She has to see me; her eyes are right on me! She bit her lip and raised her eyebrow before lying back down and falling into her slumber once again. Her scent was intoxicating and I rushed out her window before I did something dumb. Not like I haven't just by going there, but when I arrived home Alice was smiling.

"You like her" those words set me off. The monster inside me caused me to pin the tiny pixie to the wall with my hand on her neck.

"Stop. Now" the rest of our family rushed down and Alice wasn't fazed by my outburst. She continued to smile as my grip tightened.

"Get your hands off my wife!" Jasper was suddenly enraged with his own fury and mine. He came at me and I dodged his attack. The fight began with me blocking his shots before he caught me off guard and knocked me across the house. I felt the wall shatter behind my stone body. I just stared as his fangs were close to my throat.

"You. Never. Do. That. Again. You hear me?! He was contemplating snapping my neck right there. My feelings of wrath and anger crumbled and turned apologetic. He felt this and walked over to his love.

"Edward," Carsile was trying to reason with me, but how could I? I had just tried to hurt the only family I had. How could they even look at me? I am a monster! I started running in the woods once again, I couldn't handle the sad faces that were waiting home.


	5. Chapter 5 : The Noose

_"So glad to see you well, overcome them. Completely silent now  
With heaven's help, you've cast your demons out.  
And not to pull your halo down around your neck and tug you off your cloud  
But I'm more than just a little curious, how you're planning to go about making your amends"_

**- The Noose - A Perfect Circle**

* * *

It was five hours since I had left, and I was on my way back when I caught the intoxicating scent. I breathed in deeply, letting it travel through my veins. It was six o'clock, and she was running around her room trying to get ready for the school day. I watched her as she scrambled through her dresser trying to find something to wear. She smiled as she found the outfit she wanted before gripping the edges of her shirt. I ran back to my house, through the forests, and arrived in the door in a matter of minutes. Alice was grinning and pounced on me at full speed. She threw her head back in laughter at my shocked expression.

"You think you can get rid of me that quickly? Oh brother, it will take centuries to even get me to budge" Her hands wrapped around his throat playfully.

"You think choking someone who doesn't breathe will work? It's like drowning a fish doll, impossible!" She jumped off giggling before dramatically pointing to the stairs.

"Now get ready to drive me to my first day of Forks High School" she announced.

I chuckled some at her excitement before speeding through the house to find something suitable to wear. I found a dilemma; I wanted to impress this girl. Alice was already in my closet searching for something to pick out. It was embarrassing having her know how desperate I was. She was done in thirty seconds and told me to change while I obliged. When I came out I was in an Armani sports jacket with a button up shirt with a slight tint of blue. I smirked as she picked out one of the tightest fitting jeans I owned.

"She'll be faint! I swear she'll drop dead" she commented while I frowned.

"But I don't want her to drop dead Alice" she laughed before shoving me out the door.

We arrived at the school five minutes early and I saw the striking Isabella Swan listening to music in solitude.

"You're drooling" Alice smiled and took me by the arm and nearly dragged me into the school.

I spent the rest of the time organizing my papers and just awaiting for first bell to ring. She walked in the room a minute early and set down her book bag before stumbling to my desk. She nearly tripped and I had to hold a laugh.

"I read the book. Do you want me to write an essay? Or anything really?" She blushed when my eyes ran over her figure and I smirked.

"You're a big reader aren't you?" I asked ignoring her question. She blushed even harder. Her blood was calling to me, and her eyes roaming my body didn't help. She shook herself out of her trance before answering with a shy 'Yes'. Her bottom lip found its way between her teeth as she deciphered what to say. It was completely adorable.

"At the end of the year I want a five hundred word essay on how the story relates to your life."

I smiled at her and she nodded her head while rushing back to her seat. A new idea spawned within my head and I couldn't of figured out a better way to have her in my life soon. The class spent their time writing their essay while Bella made notes on the assignment given to her. She had four months for this essay so it would be rather easy for her. When the bell rang I called her name. It sounded so sweet on my lips! She walked over, confused.

"You know your way around the school, right?" I asked and she nodded her head timidly.

"Well, my younger sister Alice just got transferred and I was wondering if maybe you could show her around. You know, you two might have a lot in common and you both are new"

And as on cue Alice rushed into my classroom pretending to be lost. Bella simply agreed before Alice seemed to hook their arms and tell her what they were going to do this weekend. Her small confused face was endearing. I was selfish; I forced this child into my life of myths and the impossible. But for some reason I couldn't have been happier.


	6. Chapter 6 : Teenagers

_"They said all Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.  
They could care less as long as someone will bleed.  
So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose.  
Maybe they'll leave you alone; but not **me**."_

**- Teenagers - My Chemical Romance**

* * *

**BPOV**

I was nearly dragged across the hallways by the little girl before me. Her mouth ran a mile a minute as she told me of a sleepover we'll be having soon. I looked back and saw Mr. Cullen leaning against the door of his classroom with a smile on his face. I sighed at his beauty before attempting to tell this girl where we were going.

"So why are you now attending Forks High?" she asked before stopping abruptly in her steps.

We were in front of her locker which was littered in roses. She was nearly giddy before taking them off.

"My boyfriend. He's so sweet! He doesn't even go to this school and managed to do this."

The love was apparent in her high pitched voice and she looked back to me for an answer.

"Well, I decided to live with my dad for a while. And this is the closest school to his house"

"Do you like it here?"she asked but seemed to know the answer.

"Too rainy. Other than that it's good."

She nodded her head as if to confirm her assumptions.

"Why are you here?"I asked and she answered immediately.

"I used to go to a private school so I wouldn't be in the same school as my brother taught but I didn't like it much. Everyone was a snob there."

She continued to tell me all about her family and how Mr. Cullen or as she referred to Edward, was really a child at heart. She assured me that as uptight as he may be that he's just a goof ball. But I realized Edward fit him very well. I couldn't imagine it being anything else.

When the two of us had to separate she told me to meet her at lunch. I liked this girl, even though she was very forward. She didn't take no for an answer either. My biology teacher called my name and I went back to thinking of school.

The periods went by very fast, and before I knew it was sixth period. Lunch. I barely took two steps into the cafeteria before Alice was dragging me outside.

"We're going to get in trouble!" I hissed but she laughed.

I saw the silver car that was Alice's destination. I caught a glance at my gorgeous English teacher in the passenger's seat nodding his head. He was listening to music and looked completely gorgeous. I laughed at myself; I was like every other girl in this school. Drooling at the site. Alice knocked on her brother's window and he nearly jumped. She opened the back door and ushered me inside. I sat down nervously as Mr. Cullen stared at his sister.

"This is highly inappropriate Alice. Bringing your friend, MY student at that. I don't think the school would appreciate a student in a teacher's car. It's not you Bella, Alice just doesn't understand that I am not just her older brother here." He was angry and I whispered to Alice that I should get going.

"Stop being a baby. She's sleeping over this weekend anyways. Get used to it"

I was surprised that tiny Alice stood up to the fuming man in the driver's seat. He gripped the steering wheel tight with white knuckles. Ha. Well, I presumed they would be white if he wasn't so pale. I opened the door with soft apologies and began to walk away. I felt a hand stop me and turned around to see my glorious professor glimmer. His eyes were soft now, a strange gold color. I had never noticed the breathe taking color that lay behind his long lashes.

I looked to the floor, not before noticing the tight fitting pants he wore so well. They hugged him in all the right places, but still hung loose at his ankles. I was surprised I didn't pass out at the site.

"It's not you, I'm sorry Isabella." My full name on his lips made me want to pin him to his expensive car and scratch it up a little... Are there any cases with a female student raping her teacher? Well, I could make it a first... What was I thinking?! A blush crept to my unwilling cheeks at the thoughts I was having. He smiled before escorting us back within the school just in time for my dreaded subject; Gym.


	7. Chapter 7 : Alone I Break

_I will make it go away, can't be here no more._

_Seems this is the only way, I will soon be gone._

_These feelings will be gone. These feelings will be gone._

_Now I see the times they change, leaving doesn't seem so strange._

_I am hoping I can find where to leave my hurt behind._

_All the shit I seem to take; all alone I seem to break._

_I have lived the best I can; does this make me not a man?_

**- Alone I break - Korn**

* * *

EPOV

I rushed to my car as soon as ninth period ended, trying to avoid Alice at all costs. She knew what I wanted to do, and she would definitely rub it in my face if she caught up with me. As I quickly pulled out of the teacher's parking lot I circled around the block for a little bit, then I went back to the school to see if Alice was still there. I didn't find my sister though, but my object of affection hitting the top of her car. Curses flew from her mouth as well as smoke. She was a smoker? Was I too preoccupied with her enchanting smell to notice the chemicals that surrounded her? I parked a few spaces from her and walked towards the beautiful angel before me. Her eyes went wide when she heard the car door slam and dropped the cigarette. She quickly crushed it with her foot before looking back up at me.

"Car trouble?" I asked her as she nodded hopelessly at the piece of machinery before her. I slipped past her as her warm skin faintly brushed my cold arms. I lifted the lid of the car and immediately found the problem. She couldn't see my hands so at full speed I connected the wires and told her to start the car up. She looked at me doubtfully before the engine finally came to life. The look on her face was completely priceless, and I openly laughed at her. She blushed before thanking me, before asking directions to my parent's house. I was confused at first, then realized that according to everyone in Forks I lived in a separate cottage nearby. I told her to follow me, but realized once on the road I had to go more than half the speed just for her to keep up. When we arrived I waited for her at the door.

"Ladies first" I smiled as she walked in and turned over her shoulder.

"Quite the gentleman I presume" she smirked before Alice ran down the stairs and nearly gave Bella a heart attack.

"Oh jeez Alice!" she said putting a hand on her heart, in attempt to calm its rapid beating. Alice just laughed again before looking at me with knowing eyes. I cursed her gift, as she cursed mine.

'Edward's in loooveeee.' Her thoughts were as musical as her voice as she repeated the lines in a little song. I cast her a glare and turned back to Bella. I could tell she was uncomfortable, I mean the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Jaspers waves hit us all, and Bella was smiling yet again.

"How about we introduce Bella to the family?" I said softly as Alice seemed to suddenly have an epiphany.

"Oh yes! Come on Bells!" she said suddenly wanting to show off her husband to her new friend. She gripped Bella's thin and fragile wrist and dragged her to meet the rest of the Cullen Clan. I stayed in the front room before Emmett's booming laughter nearly shook the house.

"Where have you been hiding this tiny creature!" he wrapped his arms around her and tossed the poor girl around.

"She's so tiny! Tinier than you Alice, maybe you should go on a diet." He winked before Alice laughed.

"Thank God. As long as you don't throw me around anymore I'm game." You see, Emmett always loved people smaller than him. He loves throwing them around like a child, because usually compared to him they are children. Bella's face showed a mix of 'What is happening?' and 'Please, oh please help me'. My bear of a big brother finally put her down as she nearly fell to the ground.

"Awe can I buy you in a gift shop?" she laughed "I get rather lonely at night; I need a big bear to protect me from all the monsters!" She was relatively shocked when Emmett's laugh exploded and rocked her body. Her bottom lip slipped in between her teeth and I shuddered. She kept gnawing on it until a tiny drop of blood covered the wound and before I knew it I was running out the door, far far away from her. I just couldn't trust myself; my mind was cloudy because of her intense smell. Why can't I just stay away? Why is it so hard to leave her, and never look back? The more I pull away from her, the more I am drawn. Is this just a test? To see how much I can withstand without crumbling? And all the while I have never let anyone into my cold frozen heart, but in a week a human melted me from the inside out. Maybe with the rain I will wash away like The Wicked Witch of the West. Oh Isabella Swan, what you've done to me...


	8. Chapter 8 : The Fourth Drink Instinct

_She's doesn't deserve to be in a place like this, all alone. _

_She's underage and so very very brave, a fake ID lent her credibility_

_She sits at the bar. The gents are gonna try so hard_

**- The Fourth Drink Instinct - Cute is What We Aim For**

**

* * *

EPOV**

All week I have once again avoided the intriguing girl in my first period English class. I felt horrible, she would run out of her seat after the bell trying to get a word with me but I would just quickly rush to my next class. It was Friday night and I couldn't help but watch as Bella went home and changed. Of course I didn't watch her shed her clothing, but how I wanted to. I had to literally force my eyes to the ground so I wouldn't 'accidentally' peak. She was getting ready because that creep Michael Newman asked her to go out tonight. I was more than aware of his sick intentions.

When I looked back up, Bella was wearing tan shorts with a large sweatshirt thrown over it. It was so big that you could only see an inch of the little shorts she wore, and to be honest it looked adorable with the boots that matched perfectly. Alice would be proud. She ran around her room for a while and before I knew it she was getting into her truck. I sighed before heading home to think about this girl.

_A few hours later..._

I was lying on the couch with a book in my hand when Alice came running in. She looked at me and laughed harder than I've ever seen her laugh before. Images of Bella in a dark room filled my mind and I knew where she was immediately. I ran to my car and sped off before I could even comprehend what was happening. When I reached my destination I slammed the doors open with Alice not too far behind me. What I saw shocked me, and made me want to laugh like Alice had just before. There was Bella, in the middle of the dance floor twirling in hysterics. I could smell the alcohol in her blood, and could see that she was so incredibly drunk that she was stumbling. Well, more than normal anyways. Questions flooded my mind but I quickly put them aside when she stumbled towards us with a grin on her face and a beer in her hand.

"Aliceeeee! Ed-MR. Cullen!" she slurred and clung onto my sister's neck.

"I didn't esspect to see you here. Have a drink!" She shoved the bottle in Alice's hand and it took all I had not to laugh at her face. Bella's jaw was hung open as she looked at us dumbly.

"You don't wants it?" she asked with a shocked expression. Alice shook her head with a smirk and Bella frowned.

"More for me then" She began to sip the drink before I quickly took it away from her. She was staring at my hand, and had noticed I moved quicker than anyone she's ever seen.

"I think you need to go home Bella" I said sternly and saw the creature I've come to hate stumble behind her.

"Hey buddy, she's mine for tonight! Go hit on someone else" he said oblivious to the fact that I was a teacher. I looked at Bella who stared at me with large doe eyes.

"No Mike, I think he's right. I'll sees you later. Say goodbye to erm, our friends!" she grabbed my arm and leaned against me as we led her out of the bar. I didn't like that she was drinking, but so many other kids her age do a lot worse. She was cute with the slight lisp she held. Alice laughed before looking at the falling girl beside me.

"Man oh man, you are so trashed!" We all laughed as Bella attempted to defend herself even though she didn't fully understand.

"I'm not trash; I do not live in a garbage can. Thank you very much!" Alice giggled before running to get Bella's truck, leaving me alone to help her into the car. As I drove through the night I became angrier and angrier that she had been so irresponsible. Bella slumped in her seat and sighed.

"I'm sorry." Is all she said, and I forgave her instantly. I couldn't stay mad at this angel, even if she smelt like she rolled around in vodka.

"It's alright Bella, we're going to get you home and-"

"NO! I can't go home like this, Charlie will use his breathalyzer on me!" she sounded like a child and I chuckled to myself.

"Alrighty then, want to stay at our house for tonight then?" I smirked as her head bobbed up and down reminding me even more of a little kid.

"Erm, Mr. Cullen?" she hesitated, not sure whether to look at me as her teacher or her best friend's brother. I quickly corrected her and told her to call me Edward outside of class. She smiled at this before continuing her thoughts.

"Thanks for taking me home, I mean to your home. I probably would have hit a tree or something if you didn't." she smiled sincerely before her attention was directed to the radio. It was on a station Alice had put on when I drove her to school, and Bella's face lit up. Her fingers flew to the knob and turned the foul music loud enough to burst one's eardrum.

"They see me rollinn. They hatin! Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty." For the horrible song that was playing, she sung it well. I would never expect her to like this kind of music, if you could call it that. She suddenly turned to me and sang in my face.

"TRYIN TO CATCH ME RIDIN DIRTTY. TRY TO CATCH ME RIDIN DIRTY"

She had her eyes closed and basically sung her heart out until the song ended. I was laughing pretty hard by then and she joined me, us both knowing she would never do such a thing if she was sober. We were already in the drive way and when we went inside Emmett was standing by the door with a huge grin on his face.

"Are they really trying to catch you riding dirty Bells?" he said completely serious and she looked horrified.

"How'd you hear me?" she was puzzled and he laughed out loud.

"Hun, I think everyone in a 50 feet radius could hear you screaming." Alice said before wrapping her arm around Bella's neck.

"Now we have to convince Esme to call Charlie for you" she said proudly. We had left her in the living room at Emmett's disposal as we begged our mom to lie for once.

"I'm NOT calling her father and lying for you guys!" she was obviously appalled at the idea, but our eyes were so sad that she wanted to give in.

"Oh come on! We'll just do it and pretend to be you anyways, so how about we save ourselves the trouble. Pleaseee!" my sister was begging with her bottom lip trembling. After another five minutes of our relentless pleads Esme finally gave in and called Charlie for us.

"Hello, Mr. Swan? This is Esme Cullen, Alice's mother... Well, your daughter Isabella met up with my daughter tonight and they ended up going to Carsile's office... I know, it was unexpected but Alice is planning on interning there this summer and is trying to convince Bella to do the same... Well, I was wondering if she could stay over tonight, because my husband's shift ends late tonight and its dark and the roads are very dangerous, especially in this rain... Oh no! It isn't trouble at all...We love having Bella at our house; she's like family to us... Her and my other daughter Rose are planning on makeovers and all that junk... Alright, I'll be sure to have Bella call you in the morning. Goodnight Mr. Swan..." she hung up the phone and handed it to us disgusted.

We smiled and headed back to find Bella with her head in her hands, nearly exploding with laughter. Emmett and Jasper were wrestling about the remote, and rolling around on the floor.

"Bellsie! Show Eddie and Alice the dance you showed us!" Emmett laughed as Bella shook her head.

"Sorry guys, it was a one time only thing. Shoulda been here" she shrugged off her embarrassment. In my head I saw pictures of Bella and Jasper dancing together dumbly. I chuckled, she was rather cute drunk.


	9. Chapter 9 : Smother Me

_ I found my place in the world  
Could stare at your face for the rest of my days  
Now I can breathe, turn my insides out  
Smother me  
Warm and alive I'm all over you  
Would you smother me?_

**- Smother Me - The Used**

* * *

We all hung out for a while, laughing at Bella most of the time. It was until Alice suddenly rushed up and grabbed her and rushed her to the bathroom we didn't even use. We all rushed towards the door and saw Esme holding Bella's hair back while she got sick in the toilet bowl.

"Is she okay Dad?" I asked as he smiled some.

"Just too much alcohol for her body to handle. It's good that she's getting it out of her system." He said, remembering the time when he had to pump some young kid's stomach.

"To be honest, I've always wondered what this would be like." Esme said, embarrassed.

"Since none of you can come home drunk, I've always wanted to know how it would be..." she trailed off and continued to rub Bella's back. After a few minutes she got up and was blushing a deep red.

"I'm sorry guys, I didn't...esspect that." Alice handed her a tooth brush and we all left her alone for a little.

When Bella arrived in the living room she had changed her clothes into a different shirt and shorts and had her hair pulled back in a loose bun. It was already one in the morning, and we all were reminded that human's needed sleep when a small yawn escaped my Angel's mouth.

"Come on, I'll take you to bed upstairs." I said as Bella clung unto my arm as we walked up the stairs. I suddenly became annoyed at her slow stumbling pace and lifted her into my arms and carried her the rest of the way. I brought her into my room and laid her down in the bed that I use for show. When I let her go to leave her hand gripped my own hard.

"Don't leave." She spoke in a whisper before yawning again. I smiled and sat at the end of the bed.

"Lay with me" I stared at her with shock, before pulling away.

"I'm your teacher as well Bella, I can't..." It was so easy to forget that in her eyes I was her twenty-five year old teacher. She grumbled slightly at this, and pouted.

"I don't care, you're Edward outside of school....not Mr. Cullennnn" her voice held some of a whine and I smiled.

"But we wouldn't want the school getting ideas would we? It would be very inappropriate if I laid with you tonight."

"I promise I won't tell" I sighed, before obliging to her wishes. Her body instantly curled against mine and I gasped. It fit so perfectly with mine, and I think she noticed me tense.

"Hmm, you're cold" she mumbled and laughed slightly. "Like a personal air conditioner. If I was home I'd need tons of fans to make it through the heat." Her hand gripped my shirt and a thousand thoughts were running through my mind. I wanted to do so many things to her at this moment as my mind ran through different scenarios. _I wanted to kiss her... I wanted to kill her... I wanted to push her away forever... I wanted to hold her close until the end of time..._

Her leg brushed my thighs and I groaned loudly. In that instant I wanted to do a lot more than kiss her. All those innocent and not so innocent thoughts left my mind as I began to picture her doing crazy things to me. Four. The number of layers between us. Or perhaps three if she wasn't wearing any- What in the **world **was I thinking?! I was picturing one of my own students in poses that could make a stripper blush, but I suppose that was better than picturing her blood dripping from my lips. Her strawberry scent flooded my senses as her chest rose and fell in a rhythmic pattern. I moved my body so I was hovering above her, each hand placed next to her head. My face was so close to hers that they were almost touching, but not quite. I nearly jumped across the room when her lips moved.

"Edward" she spoke so clearly, but then she turned over. I didn't move, didn't breathe. Afraid she might wake up. My cold heart seemed to flutter when she spoke my name again. And it was that moment, that I truly believed that I, Edward Cullen, was in love.


	10. Chapter 10 : There's No 'I' in Team

_Broken down in bars and bathrooms;  
All I did was what I had to.  
Don't believe me when I tell you,  
It's just what anyone would do.  
Take the time to talk about it,  
Think a lot and live without it.  
Don't believe me when I tell you  
It's something **unforgivable.**_

**- Taking Back Sunday - There's No "I" in Team.  
**

* * *

I eventually left her side before she woke, hoping she wouldn't remember sharing a bed with her teacher. When I arrived downstairs my family all had the same dumb smirks on besides Rose. Her mind was as blank as her pretty stare. Alice bounced over and wrapped an arm around me.

"Don't worry brother; she won't remember anything but her sweet dreams." She spoke before her mouth slightly opened and her face went bare of all emotion.

"She'll be down in 5, 4, 3, 2..." and at that moment the beautiful girl I have come to know walked down the stairs slowly. She was tired, hung over most likely, but yawned and whispered 'Good morning'. Her face held a soft smile and dreary eyes, but she couldn't have looked more stunning if she tried. Esme took this as her cue and brought out a store bought bagel with a glass of orange juice with a side of two aspirins.

"Here you go sweetheart" she smiled before Bella's face quickly awoke with sudden interest.

"Awe, thanks Mrs. Cullen. You didn't have to do this."

"Oh, please call me Esme. And it was no trouble dear, really." Bella nodded her head in gratitude before she ate the disgusting food that smelt like garbage compared to her. She looked up at me with a sparkle in her eyes, and smiled brightly.

"And Bella? Charlie wants you to call him." Alice danced around her before sitting next to her. Quick disgust flew over her face at the smell of the food, but she fixed it fast.

"What? Do you want some?" Bella asked with a knowing smile, Alice shook her head before running to the ringing phone before handing it to Bella.

"Hello? Oh hey dad, no I'm fine. Well, last night wasn't planned, we just lost track of time at the hospital. Yeah. Well, earlier in the week Alice asked me to sleepover tonight so do you think I can? Dad, no. NO! Besides, all her brothers are older. No boys. I know. Dad, stop worrying. I'm not coming home pregnant anytime soon. Dad why are we discussing this? Please you're embarrassing me!" I laughed along with Alice, because we could both hear the insane things coming from Chief Swan's lips.

"DAD! That's Alice's brother. No, we aren't throwing some party. Dad, Alice's parents are here. Want to talk to them? Maybe you should trust me then, when have I broken that? That was a year ago, back in Phoenix. So what? Alright, bye then. Love you too. Bye" She hung up and threw an apologetic glance our way.

"Sorry my dads a little...over protective." She mumbled leading us to laugh again.

"I could tell." All the color in Bella's face drained before being replaced with a bright crimson. My grip on the counter tightened as her exotic scent made its way through my body.

"You heard that?" Alice simply nodded her head before grabbing Bella and dragging her upstairs.

I sighed when Rose came in, and she sat next to me for the first time since I've met my obsession.

"Hi" she began, looking at me with concern eyes. I said the same back, wondering why she was talking to me again.

"Do you know anything about Bell-the human's life back with her mom?"

Her mind was blocked, as she listed the names of fashion designers. I couldn't tell where this was going, but I could tell already I didn't like it.

"Not much, why do you care? You hate her anyways."

The bitterness in my voice stung, and I could tell my sister was hurt. She was having a hard time saying what she wanted to, which was a first for the outspoken blonde. She sighed before deciding to pull down her front for just a minute.

"Because, I can't shake the feeling that something happened to her. Edward, no one drinks that much for fun. Not even humans. She has issues..."

"Now your saying she has a problem? Rose, nobody's perfect. And for you to assume such a thing is just unbelievable! Okay, we all get it. Little Rosie wants to be human, boo hoo don't we all feel bad for the poor thing. Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you have to make up stuff. Now, I'm done talking to you. Good bye"

I stormed off, angry at her for trying to get me to stay away Bella. Oh yeah, she cares a whole lot about the girl she has wanted out of our life's since Alice's visions! I wasn't sure if my anger was caused by Rose's lies or my own denial...

* * *

**A.N - ****This is very short and I know it, and I'm very very sorry I haven't updated in forever. To be honest, I'm not going to make excuses. I have been rather depressed lately, and I thought by writing again would help me forget about all the shit that has been going on in my life. My best friend passed away recently, and I keep getting insane writer's block whenever its another month, so it's pretty hard for me to be consistant with this. Later on in this story I'm going to add a character in her honour, and hopefully this will give me more inspiration to do so. So please don't stop reviewing or give up on this story, I'm determined to see this to the end. Besides, I love hearing people's responses. **


	11. Chapter 11 : Beauty In The Breakdown

_Come on, take a step towards me_

_So you can figure me out_

_I've been hoping and praying for a single way_

_To show you what I'm all about_

_And I know, and I know this is the only way of pleasing the crowds_

_But when this is over and done with and we walk away_

_There should be no doubts_

**-The Scene Aesthetic - Beauty In The Breakdown**

* * *

**EPOV **

I heard the quiet sobs of Rosalie, and I couldn't help but feel bad for what I said. Emmett was now quite angry with me for upsetting his wife, but I knew he'd get over it. But I know Rose will never forget those words, and I'll never be able to take them back. My thoughts were quickly interrupted when I heard the loud shriek coming from upstairs.

**BPOV **

"NOOOOO!!" I screamed as Alice poked at my sides, I was nearly in tears.

"Alice, PLEASEE! HAVE MERCY!" My voice became more panicked as she continued to torture me. I was literally rolling on the floor; trying to crawl away from the beast I call my best friend. As I looked up, I came face to face with a pair of Armani shoes nearly touching my nose. Edward was standing there, his face crumbled with worry. But that was whipped away, and a grin spread across his lips. I simply whispered help me before hiding behind his leg in a childish way. His beautiful laugh shook through my body as he pulled me up and protected me from his evil sister. Suddenly, he grabbed me and threw me across the room, and into Alice's arms.

"GOTCHA!" she laughed as her fingers began poking spots all over my sides. I fell to the floor in an attempt to get away and gave my best glare at my English teacher. He laughed again and lifted me up, slowly taking me away from his sister. Alice smiled for a second, before her eyes went blank. I looked up panicked but Edward shook his head. In a minute Alice came back to reality, she was grinning.

"You are going to be my Barbie today!" I knew she was planning something evil, but I never expected this.

"Shouldn't it be Teresa?" I smiled and she laughed again.

"You kill me Bella dear; simply smother me with your comedy." She said as she pushed Edward out of the room and threw me into her large closet. Even though we were going to stay in all day, she forced me to wear something besides the sweats I was currently in. After a half hour plucking at my hair she set me free and we basically hung out in her room talking about random things. The topic came to crushes, and Alice was determined to get it out of me. But what was I suppose to say? 'Yeah, your brother is so hot. When I'm in his class I want ravage him'?

"Come on, I know you like someone. It doesn't have to be a kid in our school." That was when I knew that she knew. The glint in her eyes and the way she said it made me realize she wasn't asking who I liked, just confirming it. I groaned, if it couldn't get any worse she stood up and sung to me.

"Got it badd, got it badd got it bad!" I couldn't help but laugh, and finally gave in.

"I'm hot for teacher!" She grinned before going on.

"You got it bad, SO BAD!" We were laughing hysterically by this point, until Edward walked in the door.

"Alice, Emmett wants you." After he said this, we heard Emmett's booming voice screaming up to her.

"Let's do sleepover stuff!" he was grinning, and it seemed to spread to Alice as she did as well.

"Why? I slept over last night, what makes tonight any different?" I said with a groan, and his laughter nearly shook the room.

"Because tonight you're not puking. I hope so at least, who knows if you have a flask you alchee."

"Har har, I'm not an alcoho-" I began but he interrupted me as always.

"ALCHEEE!" I laughed as he suddenly came to enlightenment, his face actually showing thought.

"Truth or Dare!" he was grinning now, and Alice had a slim smirk on her face. There was no use fighting, since Jasper and Rosalie had also agreed. It was now Edward and I shaking our heads, but we shared a common look knowing we had been defeated. We all walked into Alice's brightly colored room, and sat in the classic circle. It was a little odd that my teacher was next to me, playing this childish game.

"Who goes first?" I asked, but Emmett raised his hand and waved it around until we all agreed to let him go first.

"So Eddie, Truth or Dare?"

"Don't call me that, but dare." He said, slightly annoyed.

"Oooh, playing risky tonight brother? Well, since Bella is here I'll go clean. Do I'm a little teapot song." "That's not so bad…" He smiled, happy with his brother for once.

"But here's the catch, you have to wear Alice's shirt, the tight red tee-shirt, the one that was 'so out of style' a week after she bought it." Edward's face went blank, his eye's nearly fuming.

"I'm. Not. Doing. That." He said through clenched teeth, I couldn't help but move slightly to the side.

"Oh but brother, you must! It's truth or dare! Unless you're a puss-" Edward got up and Alice already had the shirt in her hands. He turned around so I could only catch the defiance of his back. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him, but as he pulled it down I noticed Alice smiling at me. He did the dare, and it was hilarious. We kept going around with the stupid little game until it came to me, but I already had my answer in mind.

"Edward, truth or dare." I knew he would say truth due to the embarrassing dare's he has had to do in this past hour. Our eyes locked and he mumbled something.

"Truth." He said more pronounced and I smiled.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-fi-"

"No, how old are you really?" The family had all eyes on me, and I wasn't backing down. "Seventeen." I smiled at the answer and let that answer satisfy me. I was one step closer to figuring him out, as he knew much more about me than I could recall.


	12. Chapter 12 : Best Friend

_I don't know what I'd ever do without you _

_From the beginning to the end _

_You've always been here right beside me _

_So I'll call you my best friend _

_Through the good times and the bad ones _

_Whether I lose or If I win I know one thing that never changes and _

_That's you as my best friend_

**-Brandy - Best Friend**

* * *

EPOV

When she asked me my age, I had no idea what to do. She basically shot down the lie I have fooled the entire town with, but maybe that's what I liked about her. She was too stubborn to accept these lies, and she's usually right about it. A smile graced her features for the rest of the night, and I couldn't help but disregard the fact that she has a clue to what I am. After Truth or Dare we all just sat around talking until her phone rang.

"Hellooo?" Bella said before a screaming girl called her name.

"BELLA!!! BELLSIE BELLSIE BELLAAAA" we all looked at her questionably as she stood up and started jumping up and down.

"ALLIE! Holy shit! Whose number is this?" she said; the excitement clear in her voice.

"Hmm, well, I would have to say Nanna and Alex says 'Hi' so you guess..." Bella's face went from excited to shock as her voice was raised so high I swear Charlie could probably hear it.

"NO WAY! NO FUCKING WAY! YOU. ARE. NOT. IN. FORKS!"

"YES WAY I SO FUCKING AM. Where is that beautiful ass of yours? And that beautiful ass's beautiful piece of ass?" Bella's face blew over with a blush, and I still couldn't understand how someone can curse so much, especially seventeen year old girls.

"Well, I'm at my new friend Alice's house, hold on one second." She turned to us with the biggest puppy dog face I have ever seen.

"Alice, I know it's a little much to ask but could my friend Allie come over? She's my best friend from Phoenix, and she's in Forks for the first time. I'm only asking because I know you two will get along great." As soon as the words left her mouth Alice's eyes became blank. I saw the vision of the three of them walking together laughing at school, then another of them shopping. According to the vision, this girl has great fashion sense so Alice smiled. She turned to Jasper, asking with her eyes if he'd be alright if two humans were in the house. He simply nodded her head and she turned back to Bella nodding her head.

"Alright, would you want to come over too? I'm sleeping here, so you can too."

"Welll, Nana can't exactly drive so I don't know..." Her friend said, unsure.

"I'll pick her up." I volunteered as Bella's face grew happy and she quickly told her friend that it wouldn't be a problem.

"Ooo Edward? Is he the one-"

"Shut up we're coming to get you, Nana is at the retirement apartments up but Port Angeles right?" Allie said yes, and we were on our way. Bella soon turned to look at me with the most grateful look on her face.

"I just want to let you know I really appreciate this. You're too good to me..." she smiled before facing the road once again. It was contagious, because soon I had a full out grin spread across my face. I probably looked scary, but Bella didn't seem to notice. When we stopped we saw a very tiny girl standing in front of the building smiling. And even though it was raining Bella got out and started running towards her as they crushed each other in a hug so hard, they both fell into a puddle laughing.

The girl's hair was pin straight, dyed blonde, with black underneath. She was about 5" and was very skinny, roughly around ninety-eight pounds. She had a slim cigarette in her hand, even when Bella attacked she kept it safe. She was wearing a black Cute Is What We Aim For shirt with sweat pants that came a few inches below her knees; they were bright blue with peace signs covering it. She grabbed her backpack and walked over to the car with Bella's arm laced within hers. I opened the door and Bella leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Sorry" I was confused until she grabbed me unexpectedly threw me down to the ground, getting as soaked as the girls while they laughed even harder.

* * *

**A.N I know it's sort but I wrote this before I'm going on a road trip for 14 hours haha. Allie is the girl based on my friend who passed away, and I guess it's kinda hard to understand her personality if you didn't know that before. But leave me reviews for when I get back in a week.3**


	13. Chapter 13 : Never Walk Alone

_Just imagine what it's like to love yourself from the inside out._

_Imagine, instead of dread again, you wake up, now you feel alive._

_'Cause you don't have to walk alone, you're not alone right now._

_You don't have to hate the world, you don't have to walk alone, you're not alone right now._

**- Never Walk Alone - Madina Lake**

* * *

The rest of the night was spent with the two girls catching up along with introductions and sleep. I took the time to talk to Alice about all of this, and she was extremely happy. Allie was going to be friends with us, and she'll be joining Bella in my first period English class. Seeing Bella so happy emitted a certain radiance off her, and even in her sleep her smile was planted. It was apparent her delight affected all of us, and even Jasper was smiling, not contemplating killing the two humans in the house. Allie's dreams were pleasant, while Bella's were still hidden from me. I sat in the room watching the two roll around in their joyous slumber. How I envied them so, I wish I could lay my head down to rest, not drain a couple deer to boost my energy. Allie's dreams of this wonderland soon turned to a memory of sorts.

Her past was terrible and I could barely stay in the room and watch it in my mind. Dear God what kind of people corrupted this little girl?The memories consisted slightly of her mother, who by the looks of it preferred her drugs rather than her two mistakes; Allie and her younger sister named Alex. She moved a lot in the seven years of life, and her tenants were anything but good people. The sick things they did while she was home alone, but it wasn't the worst, oh no not at all. Her mom didn't care, she knew and she didn't do anything. The poor broken girl finally got taken away when her sister was born three years later. She got transferred from family member to family member, until she landed in Phoenix with her aunt. She was eleven years old when she first met Bella and finally wanted to stay in one place. Bella was the only one she told, and I felt dirty for invading her mind. So this is what Alice meant by her and Rose becoming close, this is why. I walked out of the guest room and downstairs with my hands through my hair.

What kind of sick monster would do this to a little girl? Though I was so happy she met Bella when she did, she deserved the help of this angel. I honestly couldn't wait to actually know Allie, for reasons beyond me. She made Bella happy and that's all that mattered. I wanted to protect both of these humans, just to make sure no one can hurt either of them ever again. I shook my head; trying to distinguish my thoughts as I ran, fast, to hunt so I can tolerate the intoxicating smell that seemed to inflame my nostrils.

Oh, what has happened to me?

**Bella's POV**

I slept soundly tonight, having my best friend sleeping inches away from me. When I woke up I saw her tossing in the bed, and I knew why. My hand grazed her face, pushing her hair out of her face and sigh softly. I wish I could take her pain away, but I knew the only thing I could ever do is show her that life is better than it was. I hummed into her ear the only song I knew could possibly stop the nightmares.

"Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream. It is not dying, it is not dying. Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void, it is shining, it is shining." My voice was quiet as I continued to rub her hair and she was instantly calming from the gesture.

"Yet you may see the meaning of within. It is being, it is being. Love is all and love is everyone, it is knowing, it is knowing. And ignorance and hate mourn the dead. It is believing, it is believing. But listen to the color of your dreams, it is not leaving, it is not leaving." I didn't hear Alice come in, or even feel the bed dip where she sat, I just continued this melody with Alice helping sing in the background.

"So play the game "Existence" to the end! Of the beginning, of the beginning. Of the beginning, of the beginning. Of the beginning, of the beginning. Of the beginning, of the beginning." (Tomorrow Never Knows by the Beatles) Our voices soon came to and end with the song, and Allie was once again sound asleep. Peaceful dreams captured her mind, and I hoped her demons wouldn't win over again. Alice gave a knowing look, before we both left the room in peace. I told Alice to tell me when Allie wakes up; since it was almost like she had a sixth sense for the future

**AN** : Sorry for these things, but it's needed. I didn't mean to write the shortest chapters in existance, but I feel like I should poste more. To be honest, I didn't feel like writing. This was just a filler on Allie, so I guess I expected this shortness. Now to end this ramboling authors note I bid Good night!


	14. Chapter 14 : The Horror of Our Love

_Moonlight walking  
I smell your softness  
Carnivorous and lusting  
To track you down among the pines  
I want you stuffed into my mouth,  
Hold you down and tear you open  
Live inside you  
Oh, love I'd never hurt you _  
**-Ludo- The Horror of Our Love**

**

* * *

  
**

The next day Allie and I went around town, me showing her where everything was. It was an amazing day outside, and Alice just had to go hiking with the rest of her family. To be honest, Allie took an extreme liking to the hyperactive girl.

We met up with all my friends from school down by La Push Beach, and they took an instant liking to Allie. As everyone does, you couldn't resist her charm. As we were walking along the shore a tall native boy walked towards us. As his form got closer, I could realize now at this distance that it was no other than Jacob Black.

"Remember me?" he said with a huge smile, looking truly happy to see me.

"How could I forget that arrogant tone?" I replied with a laugh, Allie smirking besides me. It was contagious, as my look grew to be the same as her's.

"Hardy har har, I seemed to forget the humor that you lacked all your life. Wanna go to the south shore and catch up?" the hope never left his eyes, and I couldn't help but turn to him and back to Allie again and again. I couldn't leave her alone. Just as the thought entered my brain, Mike Newton came jogging towards us as well. His voice wasn't confident as usual, but had a nervous edge which caused him to speak rather fast.

"What? Slow down! Remember, I'm a blonde. Can't quite grasp what you're saying." Allie said with a smile, obviously making fun of herself so Mike might not be so nervous.

"Do you wanna go, I dunno, talk somewhere?" I was shocked; Mike never beat around the bush when it came to hitting on girls. Allie smiled before walking off with his, whispering 'Go' over her shoulder. I sighed, before turning to the boy in front of led me down towards the rocks a little further down and we sat down, joking nearly half the time. His face turned serious, before he looked at me with such intensity in his eyes.

"You know the Cullens, am I right?" he said, and I looked at him weird. What was wrong with me knowing them?

"Yes I do. Slept at their house last night, why?"

"You can't tell anyone this, but there's been this word going around the tribe.""What is it? You can tell me, really" I said with a small hint of a smile, and what he said next was unbelievable."Well, their kinda like cannibals-"

"Cannibals? Are you serious? How dumb can you possibly get?" I laughed hard, while his face was deadly serious. I pretended to be serious yet again, and added "Oh my God really?"

"Yeah, but instead of eating the flesh, they drink their blood."

"Jake, if they drank blood then me AND Allie would both be dead. No one drinks blood but weird creepy cults. Do you know how dumb that idea is?" I repeated the idiocy of the mere thought.

"Have you ever seen them eat?"

"Yes-"

"I mean really eat? Not push around their food." This made me backtrack, for the two times I've slept there and know the family I actually haven't seen this. I've never noticed, not until now.

"So you're saying their vampires?" I said with a curious tone to my voice. He grinned.

"See you haven't seen them eat! But basically, round these parts they call them the cold ones" and then he made the spooky 'Ooooo' sound which made me laugh again.

We headed back to the cars of my friends, and I was surprised to what I found. It was Allie, looking rather comfortable in a Forks High School sport's jacket with 'Newton' spread across the back. I smiled for two reasons; one for the fact Allie might have a boyfriend soon, and two that Mike will finally give up on going out with me. We basically just drove straight to the Cullen's after eating diner at a restaurant in La I walked in the door, Edward's strong gaze hypnotized me.

**EPOV**

I was nearly pacing, just from a day of not being in contact with my angel. I so badly wanted to take back the decision to teach, and go back and be in high school with her. IT was worth it just to be able to seem normal for liking her. We could never be, for the fact I was suppose to be around twenty-six, and secondly of what I am. When the door open I stared into the mesmerizing brown orbs that I so many times became lost it. The feelings were unbearable, and it felt as if I couldn't control them. Allie smiled at me before running off after Alice while Bella and I just gazed into each others soul. I slowly moved forward, and I knew she was slightly frightened. I didn't need Jasper's gift for that. Her scent was driving me crazy, and before I could scare her anymore I leaned against the wall beside her.

"So what did you do at La Push today?"

"Learn about you." She said in a monotone, and I backed away instantly.

"What do you mean?" panic built through my veins, and I couldn't help but hold my breathe.

"I learned about your family, everything." She said confidently this time, testing the waters of my temper.

"Are you scared?"

"Not at all." I wanted to scream, shout, tell her how much I lusted for the liquids in her body. But I didn't, not even close. I ended up whispering in her ear.

"Good, I will never hurt you"


	15. Chapter 15 : The Feel Good Drag

_Lips that need no introduction  
_ _Now who's the greater sin  
_ _Your drab eyes seem to invite  
_ _Tell me darling, where do we begin?  
_ _Was this over before,  
_ _Before it ever began?  
_ _Your kiss, your calls, your crutch  
_ _Like the devil's got your hand_

_  
_ **- The Feel Good Drag - Anberlin  
**

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**BPOV**

After the strange encounter and mutual knowledge shared with Edward, Allie and I drove back to my house. We picked her younger sister Alex as well, simply to give her grandmother a break and each of them a ride to school the following day. The seven year old girl was nearly bouncing up and down, and I couldn't help but pull her in a tight embrace when we got out of the car. She was like my little sister, I've know her for nearly her entire life. Since it was already nine when we arrived to Charlies, I promised Alex ice cream tomorrow if she would go to sleep right away. I put her in the guest bedroom and tucked her in before me and Allie snuck outside for a cigarette before bed.

"So, are you going to tell me noww about that hot teacher of yours? I mean, I've restrained myself from choking it out of you." Smoke flew from her moving lips and I couldn't help but laugh. I've missed my best friend for so long now.

"Well, as I've told you and you've seen he is gorgeous. Hot doesn't even cover the beauty he has. It's...unnatural."

"Yes yes yes, I know this! It's not hard to miss, I may be slightly slow but not to that extent Lala." I grinned at her nickname for me, which all started so long ago. The first day I came over Alex was learning to speak, and that's how she pronounced 'Isabella'.

"Oh Lee, you're not slow. You're just slightly retarded." As soon as the words left my mouth I was rewarded by a light chuckle and a punch to the arm.

"No really, I want to know more. You never take interest in anyone, yet somehow you've become close with Alice and her family. What made you change your mind?" I smiled at the memories of meeting the Cullens, and how they were already almost a second family to me.

"I don't know, Edward just seems to...dazzle me. And he introduced me to his sister, who instantly reminded me of you. You guys are similar in the fact you both can make me laugh at anything, and I just feel comfortable around them. I wish he wasn't my teacher, or that I could just graduate early. Maybe then I could convince myself that we might have a chance, but it's kinda hopeless anyways. He could never feel the same. I mean, he could date supermodels if he wanted to, and what competition do I have with Heidi Klum?" I sighed, finally getting out my true feelings. They've been trapped in my head for far too long.

"You got to be kidding me. He looks at you with such intensity it scares me sometimes. He's just very troubled right now; think about it from his situation. He has feelings for a student, his sister's best friend; it's like an ongoing war inside his head." She said her confidence and comfort completely clear. She threw me her heartbreaking smile before blowing smoke in my face and running away. I laughed and chased her around the yard until I finally got her pinned down and purposely took a slow drag before unleashing the smoke on her. She could always wash away my worries; make them go away by simply being there. Every second I spend with her I can't help but think that she definitely is my best friend. Alice was up next on the list of course, but Allie is my sister, and I don't think that's ever going to change.

**EPOV**

**  
** I couldn't help but feel I was being intrusive as Bella told Allie exactly how she felt, about me, about us. But I couldn't help the warmth that spread through me when she explained the affect I've had on her. I just wanted to tell her that it wasn't impossible, and it's quite the opposite when it came to her thoughts. How could she think that she wasn't deserving of me, when she knew just exactly what I was.

I laughed lightly as they goofed around and had fun, just like normal teenage girls do. I didn't want to change Bella's life, take away these normal moments. If I did, who knows just exactly how much she would resent me. But for some reason, I couldn't leave. The gravitational pull I had towards her was stronger than that of the sun. The more I tried to build up my momentum and leave, the more I just got stuck back into orbit. It made the effort nearly impossible, and I couldn't leave. Couldn't do anything but watch from afar, and if I'm lucky enough, be in her presence.

As I looked up, I saw the petite blonde looked towards my direction, and I was trapped. If I moved, she would definitely see me, yet if I stayed still I wasn't sure if she could. She smirked and winked before following Bella into the house. She must have seen me! But that wasn't the worst of my problems, Bella knew and I basically confirmed it! It's like she knew from first glance that I was hiding a secret and she did everything in her power to figure it out. But that still isn't the worse of it all. I was falling in love with her more each day, and so was the monster inside me. It was so malicious and vile that these feelings made the hunt so much sweeter. The fact that I loved her, made the fiend restless, and it was doing anything in its power to win over my self control. I couldn't let it, wouldn't. It simply wasn't an option now. Since I'll already be going to hell, why not take the last indulgence into sin?

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**A.N.** Sorry for the extreamly short and crappy chapters, I promise I've got some drama up my sleeve, not just hopeless romanatic drabbles. It seems I've lost all my fans, or my paranoid mentality is just showing itself. Who knows. I probably won't update for a long time, due to the three essays I have due soon and four state tests comming up in three weeks. So if you like, tell me. If you don't, even more the reason to tell me.


	16. Chapter 16 : Seventeen Forever

_You are young and so am I.  
And this is wrong, but who am I to judge?  
You feel like heaven when we touch  
I guess for me this is enough_

_We're one mistake from being together  
But let's not ask why it's not right  
You won't be seventeen forever  
And we can get away with this tonight_

**- Seventeen Forever - Metro Station**

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**EPOV**

Another night I spent staring into a window, watching the angel before me sleep. It's been a week since the words were spoken between us, and she finally tasted the fear. She didn't say a word to me, and I knew she was silently breaking down. It was a sunny day in Forks, and I left the house alone to hunt. I sat on a tree trunk, my nose pressed firmly between my thumb and index finger. I needed to get away from the thoughts of those around me; I needed to actually distinguish my own for a change. I sighed softly, knowing no one could help heal my shattered mind.

**BPOV**

It's been one week. One week since I've found out the Cullen's secret, and one week I haven't spoken to my English professor. He was angry with me, and I knew I shouldn't have decoded him. He was angry because I knew what he was. The more I learned, the more I noticed the little things that made the Cullen's different. For instance the fact that Alice wasn't in school today, and I had a substitute teacher. I dropped Allie and Alex off at school, yet instead of parking like I told her I sped off in the opposite direction. I had a destination, and I was determined to get there as fast as my truck would allow me. When I arrived in the drive way, I saw Alice standing on the front steps of the house, shade covering her. She knew I was coming.

"Where is he?" were the words that came out of my mouth. No hellos, no greeting whatsoever. My mind was racing, I needed to find him.

"Follow the trail." She said; her eyes sad. I felt incredibly guilty for this infatuation I had with her brother, but she helped in any way possible. She wanted him to be happy. And she wanted him to be happy with me. Her finger pointed the direction I was heading towards, and I thanked her. Before I left, she threw Emmett's keys in my direction, knowing without the jeep it would have taken me all day to get there. So I drove. I drove until the path ended, and jumped out of the car. Bushes were all that I could see, so I pushed pasted them and stepped into a meadow. Not just any meadow, but a gorgeous on at that. Flowers were everywhere, but I had no time to appreciate the scenery for something else caught my mind. Him. He was sitting on a low branch of a tree, focusing intently on his thoughts. He didn't hear me walk up, didn't see me staring at his skin. The light was hitting it so incredibly; he sparkled like a thousand diamonds. I began to walk up slowly on the trunk, and laid a hand on his cheek; unable to train my eyes off him. When his eyes met mine, shock forced them wide open. My hand traveled against his cold skin, sliding down to the part of his button up shirt that was left open. I moved the rest of his collar out of the way while I let my fingers brush the lines of his chest. His body tensed when I stopped at his ribs, and I couldn't help but move closer. No matter if my skin was pressed to him, it would never be close enough. I gasped when his icy hands cupped my face, and he forced my attention away from his toned body to his eyes. They were black, he was hungry.

"Why aren't you running?" his voice was strained, and I just now noticed the purple circles around his eyes that were more defined than I have ever seen.

"I will never run from you." I promised him, moving in between the space of his legs. It still wasn't close enough to satisfy my heart. I wanted to be molded in every crevice in his body, just to feel the brilliant chill of his skin against mine. I wanted all space between us gone.

"Bella..." He sighed, a slight scold within the sound of my name. He breathed deeply before he continued.

"We can't." I ran each of my hands that were pressed firmly against his chest so the tips of my fingers touched his collar bone. I inhaled his scent, basking in the glory that was Edward Cullen.

"I don't care."

"You should!" he said angrily, the lines forming above his eyebrows gleaming from the movement.

"Well I don't. I don't care what you are. I don't care what you have done, what plagues your mind, it doesn't bother me. Your past doesn't matter." I forced my eyes away from his as I leaned my head on his shoulder. We fit perfectly together.

"I'm a monster." He said simply, not caring to elaborate.

"I wouldn't mind finding you under my bed" I mumbled into the crook of his neck, surprised he hasn't shoved me off of him yet."I'm you're teacher..."

"I'll be graduating soon." I said stubbornly. He wouldn't change my mind, no matter what he did. I was already in love with him, and there was no turning back.

"We can't, can't do what others couples can do." He sounded nervous, awkwardly telling me that we could never get to intimate. "I'll wear a chastity belt."

"I'm frozen eternally, never growing older. You won't be seventeen forever."

"I'll be a cougar. People in Hollywood date younger men, right?" I smiled, trying desperately to lighten the mood. He laughed some, but it was brief. He was soon serious once again.

"I can kill you at any second" My body quivered as his lips trailed kisses along my neck, his teeth grazing it so slightly, secretly showing me how it would be done.

"I'd die a happy girl." I said with a sigh as his lips left a final kiss behind the sensitive area behind my ear.

"You're condemning yourself to a life that isn't supposed to be real. One that you aren't supposed to believe."

"The only thing that is hard to believe is that you're real. Every moment, I feel like your going to disappear. Your absolute perfection, I couldn't dream anything even close to you. I don't care what it takes to be together, I'll do anything." And I would. I would do anything to be with Edward Cullen, I would walk through hell for this man.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said as his lips finally met mine, and an electric current ran through my veins. He was mine, and he wasn't leaving anytime soon.


	17. Chapter 17 : I Love Your Existence

Your song is sung in your beautiful voice  
My senses rush cause they have no other choice  
I breathe you in, and I see through your eyes.  
You are an angel in a beautiful disguise.  
We crossed paths for a reason  
The planets aligned in that particular season  
Its clear to me that well eventually be; Inseparable  
I love your existence, and I cant get enough

**-I Love Your Existence- Goot**

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**EPOV**

After being alone for so long, I couldn't help but wonder how I survived. How did I go about living my days without her? The biggest question is why I didn't see this before. I was so blind with the raging thirst and her unspoken thoughts, that I couldn't see that I lost the game before she was even born. She was my fate. Every word she spoke, every move she made, every single breath she took in I fell farther in love with her. I now understand why Jasper let Alice dress him up, why Emmett let Rose win on nearly everything even if it meant crushing his pride, and most of all I realized why Carsile could never think coherently when he was around his mate. Once you find that person, you can't deny them anything. You'd go to the end of the world and back if it meant they were happy. Like the men in this family I have fallen hard, and Bella had me wrapped around her little finger. I've never realized the control a woman can have over a man, always got angry when my brothers or father would side against me to stand by their soul mate. It was like an epiphany hit me when I realized that this angel could possibly love me. She loved me even though she knew I was a monster, she even embraced it with soft caresses. The moment my lips touched hers I knew I forever lost my sanity along with my free will. I could never decide anything ever again, unless she approved as well. After our sweet kiss ended, she rested her head on my shoulder with unsteady breathes. I took her breathe away, as she did mine. We both panted in each other's arms for a few moments, and when she looked up she had the silliest grin spread across her face.

"Wow." Is all she said, and I couldn't help but laugh when her jaw hung loose. Having this effect on her did wild things to me, that I couldn't explain if I tried. Arousal? No, it was much stronger than that. Not only did I want her in a way that was inappropriate, I wanted her mentally as well. I wanted to know what hid behind those wide brown eyes, wanted to touch the inner most part of her soul and entangle it within my own. She literally did the impossible; she forced me to realize that I did have a soul. It might not be pure, hell it was darker than the deepest night, but it was there. My fingers twirled in her curls and I was content to just gaze into her eyes for the rest of eternity.

"So, what else can you do?" she whispered with her lips plumped in the most adoring way. A grin spread across my face, and even with the weapons one would call teeth bearing, she wasn't afraid. I lifted her up swiftly on my back and before she had the chance to utter a word I ran at full force. Even at my slowest pace she would believe it to be fast and I couldn't help but show off some. For the first moments her arms clung to my neck as she held on for dear life, but she soon gained the courage to lift them above her head. She screamed a happy drawl as she laughed with the wind blowing through her hair. I stopped suddenly and she flew forward, landing in my arms again. By this time we were both laughing, and I couldn't have pictured a more perfect moment. We were right by Emmett's Jeep, so I took the wheel and drove back to the house. I couldn't fight the grin that seemed to permanently settle into my features, and I allowed Bella to keep her hand on my own that rested on the clutch. Her warm fingers rubbed circles on the cool ivory that was my own, and I still couldn't get over the fact she wasn't running. She was taking the whole teacher being a one hundred year old vampire too well, and decides she wants to get involved in a relationship with this monster. My heart reeled at the thought of anything being any different; it couldn't take the unneeded stress. Next to me I saw Bella fumble with the radio, skipping all of the rap stations that she usually played when we were driving fast. I smiled, not for the awkwardness that hung around her fingers but for the fact she had such an open mind for music, yet could only listen to songs that pertained to her mood. She smiled wide and landed on a station, turning the speakers of the car on full blast. The Beatle's song 'She Loves You' was playing and I couldn't help but smile at the irony of how much it reminded me of my feelings today.

"You know…I never really liked the Beatles until I was in eighth grade." She said speaking over the sound system that probably should have hurt her ears.

"What changed your mind?"

"Allie. She's obsessed, and literally forced me to listen to them whenever we were out. It grew on me." She said simply before screaming the lyrics of the song, letting the wind fill the car and blow her hair towards my direction. My hands gripped the wheel, and even though we were laughing and singing I couldn't help but feel the raging thirst. I had no clue what to do, because there was still another five or six minutes before we arrived home. I hated the fact she was killing herself by smoking, but I had no other choice but to ask her to.

"Can you…I shouldn't be supporting this, but can you light one of those things?" I said with a slight growl and she saw straight through me and obliged. She held her feet on the dashboard while she kept beat on her legs, the cigarette smoke filling the small space in between us. It helped, a lot actually. The fowl smelling chemicals nearly masked the perfume which was her scent away, and I couldn't feel any worse for asking her to do so. She turned to me with a sad face, before apologizing.

"Why are you sorry? It's not your fault I'm a monster." I said through gritted teeth. She looked scared, but not for the right reasons. She was worried that SHE hurt me! She was scared of making me uncomfortable, not because I could kill her. Her mind was seriously twisted, and I couldn't help but resent her backwards thinking. I felt her hand on mine as she tried to calm me down.

"I love you, and if what you said was true then you can't be a monster. A monster could never love, could never bring joy upon others. You frequently dazzle me into a stupor; you make me feel like I'm dreaming. You're happy when I'm happy, which wouldn't be the case if you were the bad person you make yourself out to be. I'm sorry, but you're not getting rid of me that easy. We'll stick through this together, even if it ends badly." Her words shook me; she was so wise for her years. She makes it seem like she has everything figured out in the short seventeen years she has been alive, while I have been around much longer and still couldn't figure it out. If anyone was going to save me, it was going to be her. She's my source of light in the darkness my life was once consumed in. All I needed to do was quit pushing her away, because I was never sure of when she would actually run like she was supposed to.

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**A.N. Okay, I know this isn't the greatest and there's no action, but I'm trying to devolope their relationship in a short amount of time. From the very begining of the story I knew what the end was going to be, and I knew how I was going to start it, just the middle is the hardest part to fill in. Sorry for the lack of updates yet again, but Finals are a bitch. Hopefully now that summer is here I'll be able to update more frequently, but I'm not sure. Tell me what you think. **


	18. Chapter 18 : Your Mine

_When I look into your eyes, you help me realign_

_And show me just how to be myself inside_

_I'm in control of everything_

_It's taking time but that's ok_

_I can bring you to my side_

_You're my blessing in disguise_

_You're mine (You're mine)_

_You're mine (You're mine)_

_You're my blessing in disguise_

_You make me realize_

_Just how and where I want to be; years from now_

**- Mine - Taproot**

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**

Upon arriving at the house, I knew exactly what Bella and I had in store; Alice. Her thoughts were on a rampage, and she was waiting to jump both of our skins once we stepped out of the car. The thought crossed my mind to take cover in Emmett's jeep, but apparently that wasn't acceptable. Alice flew from the house and literally ripped me out of the driver's side before she carefully threw Bella over her shoulder and ran full force into her room where she could personally interrogate her. She was just a little too excited now, and soon after she was done questioning Bella she planned to rub it in my face that she was right.

No matter how many centuries Alice will live, the child inside her would never die. Just like the southern solider within Jasper; the boy within Emmett who continues to try and avenge his one lost battle; the mother within Esme; the vanity that Rosalie has relied on for her whole existence; and last but not least the priest within Carsile. Without these aspects of my family, I couldn't say if I'd still be in this coven now. I admired Carsile's strong morals along with the fighter within Jasper. I sympathized with Emmett's defeat as well as Esme's loss. And I laughed at Rosalie's obsession with looks and Alice's childish charm. All of these characteristics made them who they were, and I wouldn't change anything if given the opportunity. I wouldn't even save them from this doomed existence, only because they found their soul mates within the cruelty that had been bestowed upon us. They found beauty in a world of undeniable repulsiveness, and now so have I. Instead of unrequited love, I found the most beautiful woman I couldn't even possibly imagine.

I left my sister to talk to the girl I loved, and even though she knew everything that happened she pretended not to just for the benefit of forcing it out of my dear Bella. I smiled as the thought crossed my mind, she was mine. Mine. Incredibly and utterly mine! I couldn't help but repeat the word in my head; for no other word has ever sounded sweeter. While I sat there a thousand thoughts filled my head, and for once they were my own.

Until I heard a soft thud, continued with the sounds of Bella's feet rushing down the stairs. She tripped on the last stair, and I caught her with a worried expression.

"Allie. School. Not there" she breathed out exhausted before she pecked my lips and rushed to her car. I stood in the open doorway, my face still the utter mask of confusion. I allowed the sun to cast its ray upon me while I watched my angel attempt to speed towards the school. I sighed before walking in the house, left alone with my sister.

"Edward" she said with the utmost pride laced within the simple world.

"Yes I know. You were right, I was wrong." I said, just wishing to get this little 'let's rub in Edward's face that he really is a monster' out of her system. She smiled widely before saying her trademarked line.

"Never bet against a psychic." And as if to conclude her point, her eyes suddenly stopped focus and I was pulled within her vision. It was Bella at the school, Allie waiting outside with her arms crossed, a cigarette in her hand. She huffed when the old truck pulled up, before getting into the vehicle with a slam.

"I know your boyfriend wasn't here, but you couldn't at least be here my first day? I mean, I had Mike and all but I nearly punched that Stanley girl. Fucking bitch." She mumbled the last part, and even before she finished her sentence Bella was blushing and apologizing a million times.

"What happened today anyways? I waited for you to park but then you just drove off. Coulda at least warned me."

"I went to the Cullens." Bella said simply, keeping a hand on the steering wheel while she grabbed the stick in Allie's hand.

"Well, we have to go pick up Alex and then it's a night on the town!" the tiny girl exclaimed, obviously excited.

"It's a school night" Bella scolded for a moment, before the girls started laughing harmoniously. It was obviously an inside joke, but that is where the vision ended and reality set in.

"They're going shopping!" Alice pouted, obviously upset that she couldn't leave the house until night approached.

"I'm sure they'll call you and invite you, just say you can't get out till around 6."

"But stores close at 9! That's only two hours of shopping Edward, two! Stupid sun!" She then crossed her arms and pouted again, and it was then I realized how similar Allie and Alice looked, acted, and conceived things. They were almost the same height, same tiny features, and same childish expressions. No wonder Bella took such a liking to my sister; she was nearly a clone of her best friend in Phoenix. I sighed, having nothing better to do with my time, and headed off to hunt yet again today. I could never be too careful, especially if I was trying to have a relationship with this girl. 

**BPOV**

As Allie yelled at me about being absent today, my thoughts couldn't help drift back to Edward. Will he be at school tomorrow? I don't believe I have ever said this, but I hope it rains every day this year. An hour away from him and I already am feeling anxious.

As I drove to the daycare, Allie literally forced me to stop at Mc Donald's for food, declaring that the Forks High School cafeteria was an outrage that she refused to eat. I got a happy meal for Alex along with a Mc Flurry. I promised her ice cream, so this was the best she was going to get. Allie went inside to sign Alex out, and my phone began ringing a couple minutes after.

"Hello?" I said softly, not exactly sure who had my number.

"We're going shopping at 7. Be ready and at the house by 630. Bye" Alice. I suddenly realized, who else could I have possibly thought it would be? Edward. But he's not as lonesome without me as I am. I sighed heavily as Allie and Alex got into the car. Alex was extremely excited about her first day at school, and made a couple of friends that she absolutely adores. A little boy exited the building holding the hand of his mother. He gave a shy wave to Alex, and she did it back with much more enthusiasm. Allie and I looked at each other with a smirk, knowing what we were going to do.

"Oooo do you have a crush on him?"

"Alex has a boyfriend!"

"How did you meet?"

"Do you love him?"

"Does he love you?"

"Are you going to get married?"

We kept lining question after question, never giving the poor girl a chance to answer. No matter how cruel it was to do to a seven year old, her reaction was hilarious.

"Shut up! He's NOT my boyfriend! You both are sooooo dumb!" She pouted, crossing her arms over her happy meal box. The rest of the car ride we were making up for our immaturity, by again taking turns apologizing. All it took was me smacking Allie's head to cheer her up, and we were out of the wrath of Alex. We dropped her off at Charlie's, so he could take her to visit Nana and we could have a night on the town. With Alice. This means shopping. I dreaded the next two hours.

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**A.N. Okay I'm really sorry for the wait. I've had most of this chapter done for at least a month, but didn't know how to end it. Still don't, but just wanted to put something up. I can't help but think this is really dissapointing, but that's up to you guys to decide. I really feel bad about being so bad with updates, but inspiration is hard to come by now-a-days. :( **

**Review Loveys! **


	19. Chapter 19 : On Fire

_ You on fire_

_That's how ya know you're on a roll_

_Cause when you hot it's like your burning up everyone else's cold_

_Your on fire _

**-Your On Fire- Eminem **

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**

I let my mind wander as I was dragged into stores, I lost all concentration. In a tumbling of bodies I was being switched in and out of outfits, but time seemed to stop. I couldn't think straight, and panic was beginning to settle in the pit of my stomach. I hoped, maybe even prayed a little bit that the chaos would stop. Why couldn't I just breathe?

"You okay, Bells?" I heard the high pitched voice as it pierced my ears, but I couldn't deceiver whose it belonged too. I nodded and smiled but I wasn't aware of what I was exactly doing. I needed…something. I felt the familiar feeling of my stomach churning, begging for what it craved. The look of surprise I made must have gained the attention of the two tiny girls before me, but Allie of course had a better idea then Alice did. I didn't say a word; I just let my legs take me wherever they needed to go.

I saw the door and ran, flying past multiple stalls of men yelling and covering themselves as I just collapsed against the toilet. If I was in the right mind, I would have been paralyzed by the thought of germs but I didn't care. I couldn't care. My stomach emptied the remains of Mc Donalds that still lingered, and I finally began to relax. I laid my back against the wall, letting the sweat pour over my face. Cold hands rested themselves against my forehead, and tiny warm fingers wrapped around my arms.

Water. Cold water was splashed upon my feverish face. The tiny hands began to shake my torso and I could finally focus on the scene before me. Alice's face was ridden with shock as Allie began yelling at me with as much force as her tiny vocal chords could muster.

"Wake up Bells! Are you stupid?" I felt the fingers uncurl themselves from my shoulders and move to swiftly slap me across the face. Alice looked horrified while Allie stared at me with a serious look upon her face. I bit my lip and forced my sore body to sit up.

Paper towels were thrown at me and I used them to clean the grime from my cheeks and chin. I let Alice help me up so we could follow Allie's storming figure.

"What was that Isabella Swan?" I heard the anger in her voice and let the guilt flow through my veins.

"Allie, trust me it's not what you think." I was quick to say, stumbling over my words to try and find a coherent sentence.

"I've been off, trust me I have, this is just…the after math." I sighed, giving up on my attempts to calm the tiny girl in front of me.

"You better be. Where's your medicine?" Allie suddenly turned around fast, grabbing the messenger bag that hung over my shoulder. As an automatic response I smacked her hands away and pulled the bag closer to my body. She simply grabbed the straps and ripped it from my hands before emptying all the contents that hindered her search. It was extremely embarrassing to be standing in front of the men's rest room and having my best friend throwing tampons and other objects from my purse. She grabbed the empty pill bottle and threw the bag to the floor.

"It's expired. Why the hell wouldn't you refill this? What in the world were you thinking Bella?" I sighed in relief when she stopped using my full name, but I could still see she was enraged. I ran a hand through my hair, and felt like a child being lectured by a parent. How could a girl five inches shorter than me make me feel so small?

"Okay, would anyone like to fill me in on this? I'm not used to not knowing things, so forgive me if I'm not good at this." Alice took turns grilling both Allie and I, but Allie didn't know the undertones of Alice's voice. She was furious that she didn't see this coming and couldn't prevent this from happening.

"Bella here, is suppose to take these pills to calm her paranoid ass down, and to get through part of the 'healing' process she is suppose to REFILL this prescription every month as a condition to moving here." If looks could kill, I would be wounded. Alice looked at me with big eyes and I felt the urge to strangle Allie there on the spot.

"What pills?" The question lingered through the air, but in a man's voice. Edward, in all his godlike glory, stood several feet away stunned.

"Alice called and said you nearly fainted, what's going on?" I could tell Edward did not want to be here. Not in public with me at least. He could lose his job, perhaps his reputation here in Forks. My throat closed and I couldn't find the air to speak. I had no oxygen entering my brain, and I could feel the world spinning once again. I couldn't say a word, but Allie took the opportunity to speak for me.

"She's having another panic attack; she's supposed to have emergency anxiety medication in case she gets into fits like these." But even though Allie knew to stay calm during times like these, the Cullen's began to panic. Their terror didn't help, because it sent me into a deeper frenzy. I thought I was fine without the medication, but I was wrong. Even Edwards's company couldn't keep the attacks at bay, no matter how much I wanted to believe that I was over this silly anxiety, Edward still couldn't save me.

No one could.

* * *

**A.N - Well I can't believe I'm doing another one of these again, I forgot how it feels like. I don't know if this is a spurt of creativity or just mindless drabble. But honestly, this isn't for reviews or to make up for the fact I haven't updated in nearly a year, but just to write for me.  
**


	20. Chapter 20 : Drowning

_Sometimes I hate that chaos surrounds me when all the answers that I see go around me. _

_Am I drowning? Am I fading away? _

_Or am I living up to all your dreams that made me this way? _

_Am I drowning? Am I drowning? Am I drowning? Am I drowning? _

_I've been to hell and back looking for the answers to life. _

_Looking at myself trying to get things right. _

_And I'm feeling just another breath not a minute left. _

_I feel the darkness lifting. _

_There was a time_

_That I questioned if I'd ever be alright._

_Running getting high staying trapped by sleepless nights._

_And I'm thinking just another breath not a minute left._

_I feel there's something missing._

_I'm running from myself and all the things I don't like._

_Living every night like it's the last night._

_And I'm thinking just another prayer not a second left._

_I need to stop resisting._

**-Drowning – Crazy Town**

**

* * *

**

As I lay there, trapped in my own mind, I couldn't help but find comfort. The questions were too much for my wary mind, and I loved the silence for once. For once I didn't have an array of voices bothering me, but I did miss one.

Edward. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest; where was he?

Where am I? I wondered, trying to regain consciousness.

I could feel my eyes fluttering, but I couldn't get them to stop closing again.

But I couldn't see him; I could only see another man standing where I hoped Edward would be.

"Jason, is it really you?" I didn't know if I was screaming or whispering at this point, I couldn't see any emotion register on his face.

I needed to know he heard me.

But all I heard was him laughing, clicking his tongue at me like a mother scolding her child. But I knew it was him, no one looked like he did. His skinny arms were covered in the colorful art I remember, and my hand instantly touched the one on my hip. We all had gotten them at the same place, and the permanent ink still rose from the rest of my skin.

"Jason, what's going on?" I went to walk towards him, but he moved before it was possible. I wasn't close enough to touch him, but I was close enough to see the scars.

The scars that ran up and down his arms, the scars we shared. We all did.

I didn't know if I wanted to cry or scream, but neither was possible.

"You don't want to come near me kiddo" was all he said. But his voice was so clear. I remember the monotone that hid beneath his low tenor. It was like riding a bike, you can never forget once you've learned.

"Why not! This is great, Allie's around here somewhere, if I can find her we can-"

"No. Bella, do you not see what I've done to you? Do you not see what I've done to her?" He turned away from me, but I could tell he wasn't going to leave.

"What do you mean? It's not like we wouldn't have gotten into trouble if you weren't around, and besides, we all made it out fine." The last part came out as a question, and I don't know why but it felt terribly wrong to say. I looked over my scars, the ones that were firmly planted on the inside of my elbows. But I didn't like what I saw, not at all. New scars, fresher scars, rested all over my arms. Thick ugly marks that covered my body. My chest shared the nasty blotches, and I looked up in horror.

"Now do you see?" His voice was shaking, panicking me. I went to get closer, but Jason was so much quicker than me. His eyes were wide in fear, an emotion I have never seen on him before.

"But you didn't- How could you? I didn't have these until now and you've been in Arizona. And you didn't do anything to Allie, you loved her. You really did. I don't understand."

"You've missed out on a lot, haven't you? Bella, Allie is dead." The words shook me, and I felt my body quiver. Tremors overtook the rest of my body, and I could feel blood gushing out of my nose.

* * *

_Allie claimed the passenger seat. She said that it was her boyfriend's car and that she got shotgun privileges. I didn't argue, because it would be awkward to sit up in the front next to Jason. I mean, we were friends, but I only knew him through Allie. _

_He had driven here from Phoenix, just so he could see his girlfriend. He was a little mad that she had been hanging around Mike Newton, but it was all okay now. We had told Alice that we were going to have to cancel our plans to shop because he wasn't going to be in town much longer. He had picked us up from my house, and Charlie wasn't around to ask any questions. He was a reminder of the good times I had in Arizona, the one's I couldn't partake in the tiny town of Forks. In Phoenix we were always together, ever since we met him when we were freshmen. He was a senior then, and that's when the party began. _

_We were drinking, and a joy ride through the streets of Forks was the perfect way to end the night. Jason was teasing us lightweights, and how two seventeen year olds should be able to handle their liquor better. We fought with him the entire time, but every time things got too serious we couldn't help but laugh. _

_I remember giggling at the obnoxious songs that came out of Jason's radio as the white convertible sped down the street. Allie had turned to look at me over the seat, before she let out a scream. Jason and I copied her 'Woo's' and I held up my half full Corona with triumph. Allie had grabbed onto it with both hands, as she tried to pry it from my fingers. The beer ended up spilling all over us both before breaking on the street beside the car._

_ More laughter erupted through the car, and Jason began bitching about how if he gets pulled over he'll kill us both. He went on about how his Arizona license plate made him stick out. The threats were empty though, because he would go to jail a hundred times over if it meant keeping us safe. He loved us both, of course the love he had for Allie developed more over time. _

_"So Bells, I hear that you've finally settled with an older guy?" Jason looked at me in the rear view mirror, a smirk playing on his skinny face. My hand flew over the seat and smacked the back of Allie's small head. She gripped the back of her head dramatically, making fake noises of pain from the tiny tap. She turned around fully in seat so she was facing me, and wrapped her arms around the head rest. _

_"Come on Bellsie, you know it's all in good fun. I guess both of us like old, dirty men." She suddenly turned back and gave Jason a kiss. However, that was the last kiss they would ever share. _

_Everything was blurry, but I remember my body flying from the top of the car. When I landed, I stayed still for a couple of moments. Everything was going so fast, but incredibly slow at the same time. When I finally stood up, the scene before me made my knees buckle and I was on the floor again. Screams filled the air, but I don't remember opening my mouth. Blood and tears were all over me, but the grotesque accident was all of my concern. I couldn't help my sobbing, and I felt the cold asphalt crush my hands as I began pounding the floor. Before I could blink, I felt cold arms wrap around me and pull me to my feet. Edward tried to move me but my legs stood their ground. He didn't want to touch me too much, I'm guessing because of the tempting blood that covered my body. I finally broke free and ran past Alice to the smoking cars. _

_"NO!" was all I could make myself say, and I wanted to collapse again. The rest of the family had already taken the people involved in the crash out of the wreckage, and Allie laid there motionless. Jason was scratched up, but I couldn't even recognize my best friend. Her face was gone. _

_Edward and Alice were both trying to take me away as Carsile helped the living victims. I kept screaming and smashing my bloody hands on their chests._

_ "NO! WHY? WHY WEREN'T YOU HERE SOONER? YOU CAN SEE WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HER?" My words were harsh, but I couldn't control what was happening around me._

Allie was dead.

Then why do I remember going to the mall?


	21. Chapter 21 : Handcuffs

_ I'd drive my car off of the bridge,_

_If I knew that you weren't inside_  
_Put the pedal to the floor, who could ask for more?_  
_A fantastic way to kill some time_  
_If you could lay on your back and be beaten_  
_You could put up your fists and fight_  
_You could try anyway… _

**-Handcuffs- Brand New **

The empty feeling that filled my heart with dread grew simultaneously with my thoughts. They were never ending, and with each passing second they grew more panicked and frenzied. My eyes were open but non-seeing, the cornea burned with the tainted images I finally remembered. And the voices. I could hear the sound of chatter and rushed thoughts forming into words, but I couldn't distinguish the meaning.

And this is how it was like for two days. It could have been two hours, maybe two years. All I knew was whatever trance I was in, refused to break as I fought against it…

Until I finally stopped trying.

I let my mind rest, and suddenly I was bombarded with what my senses couldn't handle. Smell, feeling, taste, sight, and voices gone haywire as I finally registered my surroundings. What I had wanted these two painful something's.

And if it wasn't possible, I felt even worse than before. My body was an empty shell which desperately needed to be filled. I had never thought about, never considered death until now. I begged for it, as my bruised hands gripped at my chest. Sobs filled the air, and I couldn't catch a single breath. Oxygen couldn't get past the lump in my throat. It seemed as if nobody was there until my fingers became tangled in my hair. I ripped at my scalp until I felt hands rip my own away. Blood was pooling at the roots, and I finally realized the danger I put upon the Cullen's. The disgusting smell of iron filled the air, like a sickly sweet penny dipped in water.

And this is what they ate.

I wanted to throw up, anything to distract myself from the smell that covered me, but I knew nothing would come out of my stomach if I tried. Finally I was forced to face the person who was trying to spare me this pain, and was surprised to see Rosalie staring me in the eyes. Out of all the people in that household, why would I wake up to her?

But with her stone hands gripping my wrists, I saw what I needed to see.

Her. Covered in blood. Blonde locks covering the ground below her. Black eyes that didn't compare to the darkness hers possessed today.

No, she wanted to kill me. So desperately, she was having an internal war. Kill the burden her family has been forced to deal with for the past year, or pity the human who just went through something nearly as devastating as she had.

Before she had the chance to redeem herself and choose, Alice was tearing her from the room. I wanted to say something, but my voice was dry and hoarse. I held my hand out, as if to say 'It's okay', and Alice stared at me strangely. She had stopped in her tracks, a slender arm still holding onto the furious blonde.

I grabbed my throat and looked at Rose, and Alice let her go to hand me the cup of water I frantically needed. I gasped when the cool water hit my throat, but welcomed the feeling.

"She changed her mind, and wasn't going to hurt me." I said softly, taking their silence as a sign to continue. "And Rose? Our pain isn't the same, not in anyway. You could compare and contrast, and wind up with different situations. The only thing that's the same is the ultimate desire to escape. Don't pity me; I don't deserve half as much."

My throat was begging for my words to stop, my brain going crazy trying to operate on such little air. Black faded in and out of my vision, until familiar hands wrapped around mine.

And no matter how much I wished for the end to arrive, this was the reason why I couldn't. Because with his fingers laced in mine, I realized that my death would eventually be his too. And something as insignificant as me killing off such a gift to the world, well, that would be the second time I ruined that chance.

Before I dozed off, I kept trying to tell Edward that he wasn't the one to blame, that he was perfect and I destroyed the lives of his family and my best friend. Even though my voice was now unwilling to corporate, I felt like he knew. As if my message left my fingertips and imprinted on his brain.

And I slept for hours; sharing my dreams with the man I loved, let my nightmares swarm his thoughts. I was the worst kind of selfish, tearing him down with my pain while he only tried to build me up with love. If things had been different, I'm sure I would have been thrilled with this new wave of communication. Instead, I sent him a warning:

_"You aren't the only one destined for hell." _


End file.
